bonding over bullying [closed|hariett|past]

[DANIEL WILLIAMS]

His name was Daniel Williams and he was currently occupied by the task of being cursed with good looks, legendary ironic wit and a nasty little zinger called Slugulus Eructo.

Being a coolkid, he had nothing against vomiting, projectile or otherwise. Really, how many situations that were worth remembering did not include the divine presence of nausea and its helper angel the little paper umbrella? If a tenth of what his bro told him was true, not many that was for sure!

Still, there should have been a line, just a tentative one, more for purposes of irony than anything really, drawn at having living creatures explode out of your upchuck barrel. First it was about as original as alien anal probes, every sexist fairy godmother and her grandpop cursed the prettiest girls with having creepy crawlies tumble out of their mouths because that was sexy or something back before Disney started putting peckers on underwater castles; second, they wriggled as they went up the old oesophageal BS chute.

He was so going to have to learn this curse and try it on Bro. If he survived the experience, of course. Of ways to go, suffocated by snails due to the magical equivalent of a schoolyard knife fights over lunch money seemed pretty ironic. Welp, it looked like that between some homeschooled martial arts involving a bunch of crappy swords and phallic wand wavers, phallic wand wavers were one to zero with a beeline for the title belt.

Wow, still vomiting.

Where was all the mass for these slugs coming from anyway? Was it being spun out of the ether or was it actually some honky-dory magical weight loss regimen? Bulimia on demand, made you sorry for the poor sucker who used it all up and announcing their food-related anxiety issues to the world.

...

Yup, still vomiting. Slugs getting smaller though. Maybe they were running out of magical batteries. Or protein. There was only so much mass his body held.

Grasping blindly in front of him he tried angling the stream away as he searched the grounds for his shades despite the slimy living vomit. He was pretty much legally blind out here what with there being light everywhere. Quite the day this was turning out to be. Hopefully the girl was alright and had scampered off like a good little lass: that was the reasonable thing to do what with her knight in shining armor turning out to be every bit as lame as his brother had told him he was. Oh welp. Win some, lose some, next time it better not be to some grade-A loser like that that was just pathetic.

[HARRIETT POTTER]

There was something about that slytherin girl that made everyone afraid to cross her. Something about a family name. Harriett didn't particularly know this family name, and it was probably the reason of how she found herself in the situation she was in to begin with! What a silly girl. Not knowing about her reputation, she received the girl's wrath from that day forward. Whenever the slytherin girl laid eyes on Harriett, there was a certainly a good amount of bullying to be received. It was all because she had defended a muggle. A long with being called mud-blood lover, there was a really odd name that had began circulating; Farmstink Buttlass. Harriett couldn't recall where it had come from, but it didn't really matter much.

Her hair was singed due to some mediocre fire spell that was used on her, and was now half of its length. As her clique of friends laughed with her, a boy appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He was blonde and he wore a pair of sunglasses. It made him look very cool, especially at the angle Harriett was looking at him from. The girl's face appeared disturbed in some way. In seconds, there was another boy. Harriett had observed that it had been the girl's boyfriend as well as a second year student later on. He took on the boy that was defending her, and Harriett instinctively took off. Well, she didn't exactly take off. She just hid behind a pillar nearby. Once they were satisfied, they eventually left the boy alone, though what had happened Harriett didn't know, for the girl had accidentally dozed off behind the pillar. But she was out for just a few minutes. She saw the boy wandering, upchucking slugs, without his sunglasses. It looked as if he couldn't see. A sudden realization hit her.

The first year gryffindor girl made it her duty to find the pair of sunglasses that were no longer on his face! It took a while, but she eventually succeeded. Harriett was happy that the crowd was gone. Maybe realizing that Harriett was nowhere to be found, the slytherin girl left holding hands with her awesome older boyfriend. Blugh. When she found them, she held them up to the sun, excited. But they were dirty and slightly broken... Harriett did the best she could to align them with her fingers since she didn't know any repairing spells yet. Then the girl went over to the boy and lightly tapped on his shoulder. She held his sunglasses close to his face so that he would see them right away. The boy probably wouldn't see her cheesy buck toothed grin until he put them on.

[DANIEL WILLIAMS]

Someone tapped his shoulders. A cooler dude would have realized that the slug launching vomit train didn't stop because an observer entered this this balls out stupidity and would have avoided whipping their head around and showering whoever had touched him with all of this magical slime grossness.

But if anyone asked he totes meant to do that. Ironically.

Irony was also why he stammered out a cool and unruffled: "S-hgork-orry, got-flgrk-a slight-sbleargh pro-"

Apology for spitting magical vomit slugs at someone that was accompanied by, well, spitting magical vomit slugs at someone: Irony!

But man, a twofer on the irony scale was pretty weak. He'd better step up his game.

Which was why he politely turned his head away and tried to angle his eyes in the general direction of the person that was trying to interact with him. Though it was embarrassing as all heck he squinted like the octogenarian he was at heart. Whoever it was was holding out... his now slime covered shades to him? They were the dark blot against the interminably bright surroundings and promised refuge from the glare.

Welp, never let it be said that Daniel Williams was about to look a gift horse in the mouth, or the shades in the hands - he snatched them up and popped them back on his head where they properly belonged, heedless of all the ick involved. Shades were cracked making the world appear like a broken jigsaw puzzle but what the hoo he could see again.

His sight involved the frazzled, burnt and slightly bruised example of Gryffindor vim and vigor - already smiling with her cheeky buckteeth that had been the subject of so much taunting.

He avoided speaking and nodded gravely at her, gave her a thumbs up with one hand and held out a fist with the other. All while slugs dribbled down his shirt like a dying waterfall of living sludge.

[HARRIETT POTTER]

"Are you oka-"

The boy tried to say something, but she could scarcely understand him. Harriett blinked as a slug landed in her hair. Her eyes looked up to see its creepy slimy head move back and forth in her peripheral vision. Her head shook back and forth as she attempted to get it off. It landed somewhere nearby, she heard the squish as it hit the pavement.

Harriett watched him pose and wondered just what she wanted him to do? It took her a few seconds to realize, but she managed to fist bump him in the end! She looked at the boy up and down. He was covered in slime and bruises, and was throwing up a slug every few seconds! Even the sunglasses which she had tried to clean and fix were covered in the magic goo as well! It must be a horrible feeling. Harriett didn't like slimy chicken, she can only imagine how it would feel to have a slug appear in your stomach and up your throat.

Harriett tried to think of something, anything, that could help him. She didn't know of any charms that could counter that spell, nor was she familiar with the charms teacher to ask. She could barely navigate around the castle! Always forgetting where she had come from...

A bucket.

Eureka!

Harriett's face beamed as she realized just the thing to help with! She suddenly took off out of sight. Where she was going? Daniel would have no idea, until she returned with a bucket in her arms. But this wouldn't happen for what seemed like forever. The girl had gotten lost again, but found her way eventually and returned to him. She held it out for him.

"Here! Use this! Hehe, don't worry. From what I hear, the spell only lasts about ten minutes! "

[DANIEL WILLIAMS]

Snap, a wizard that could bunp with the best. Chica was some sort of natural born prodigy no doubt. It took mad skills for wizardfolk to decode coolkid language, usually they just looked at you all dope and double you tee ef question mark exclamation mark. Made a bro despair for the world that sort of behavior did.

Probably why the wonder brats were picking on her. Daniel was familiar with most of the muggleborn, he was half-blood himself or some fruity meaningless wizard designation like that but he'd been raised as a normal kid and for him magic had been turntables and the phat beats pumping out of them. Connecting with the in-crowd in a normal school would have already been hellaciously tough, doing it in this dump? As lil' Cal would have said 'Ha Ha Hoo Hoo Hee Hee'.

Still, that meant he didn't know the hoity-toity nobles or their demonspawn all that well and didn't particularly want to. Exhibit A: his current condition. But maybe he had been a bit too quick to write them all off as arrogant snots of one persuasion or another. Some were perfectly derpy like most kids at this age. Nothing wrong with that, not everyone could be as cool as a Williams.

Not to say he was taking it all back though. Slytherins were vicious, yeah, but Gryffindors and Ravenclaw weren't all that much better. Bunch were rich sobs that bullied others with just as much gusto as anyone. Only the Huffs tried to stay out of it, for some no doubt arcane reason involving peer pressure and something 'magical' like family.

He still couldn't decide if that was admirable or some weird funky version of carebear scary.

With all the neurosynaptic-whathoowitz activity going on it took Daniel a moment to realize that after the bunp the mystery girl had off and vanished. Welp. Dusting himself off he prepared to stride off towards the infirmary when, in an honest to god example of genuine enthusiasm she nearly tackled him with a bucket. Years of training and no small amount of natural grace that had apparently left him during the confrontation with the bullies let him accept the package without falling down in one ungainly heap.

Listening to her explanation he raised on thin eyebrow and nodded, she'd brought him the portable version of the porcelain god. What an angel.

Welp, time to start praying, this would only last another three or so minutes hopefully.

[HARRIETT POTTER]

"Those are some cool sunglasses, by the way! If only I knew the mending charm, I could fix them right up!"

Harriett wished she knew the mending charm spell. She knew the name and its purpose, but she had never actually attempted it on anything or anyone before. She should have studied it sooner, it would have been very useful! Maybe she should ask him if she could experiment on him? Oh, that would be a terrible thing wouldn't it? She scratched that thought out of her head. That was just like Harriett, thinking about how to solve a stranger's problems rather than her own. She didn't even know where the books that she was carrying were! They didn't seem to be anywhere around.

Maybe they were taken? She would have to buy a whole new set of books. Not that she was even thinking about that. She'd probably think about it while going to bed at night or something like that. It was also too bad that she didn't think about learning that spell that manipulated her hair. Her hair needed some serious fixing.

"You're not too hurt, are you? Would you like me to take you to the infirmary?"

Where did those words come from? Ah, well, she hardly thought much about what came out of her mouth, but he did appear to be injured, and so was she. Which was the way to the infirmary anyway? Harriett was hopeless, she didn't even know where anything was! She did have a map, but the map was with her books, and since her books were gone.... Hopefully this boy would know the way there, and he would let her accompany him.

[DANIEL WILLIAMS]

Dave continued to coolly blow chunks into the designated receptacle as the Gryffindor girl spazzed enthusiastically about various cool things. Namely his shades and him. And not that he wasn't totally worth spazzing over but her way too shiny enthusiasm was going to rough up his self-control and leave it bleeding into an alley somewhere. Her babble was weirdly charming: already the corner of his mouth wanted to turn up a little bit and damnit lion girl we just got ganked in broad daylight in full view of the local prefects and the bystander effect is at ten times power because shit no one cares about the firsties arrgh stop being so peppy.

Not that he'd ever say arrgh. Or lose his cool like that. But even layered under four dozen quilts of irony, that would be the essential message. Of course he wasn't psychic and his usual means of communication currently had a slimy sticky-note on it reading: OUT OF COMMISSION so he had to make do with what he had. Namely, body language.

Infirmary? For a stoic badass like him? Psh, if this was only supposed to last a few more minutes then he'd had more traumatizing experiences with the eldritch witchspawn called, in a supreme fit of irony, 'stairs'. Daniel shook his head and nodded meaningfully at her impromptu introduction to the realm of X-treme makeovers, birthday candles and slugs included during hairstyling. Between the two of them they had a certain odor, perfume a la hair brulé and sourpuss slime snot, not precisely the sort of thing that would endear them to many others.

And then, amazingly, he croaked out one last slug and the stream of molluscan tomfoolery finally stopped.

He still gave it a cool thirteen seconds before declaring victory.

"Jesus, finally," Daniel coughed, setting the bucket down. "Thanks for the chunder chamber," he told Harriett, wiping the slime around his mouth with his sleeve. "Don't worry about the glasses, they're fine as is." He held up a hand. "Now calm the heck down, I know we should probably find an adult and be all whiny and responsible about these vicious, violent, kind of hilarious shenanigans and the nurse is as good a person as any but before that shit can hit the whirling device and break down all our hopeful optimistic dreams of there being such a thing as accountability..." he stuck out a hand. "Name's Daniel. Sorry about the hair."

[HARRIETT POTTER]

Harriett didn't even know why she bothered talking to him when he was the way he was. It was thoughtless of her, but it was too late now, she had already spoken. And now she just had to deal with trying to interpret what it was that he was trying to tell her by reading his body language.

So she just stood there smiling and blinking like an adorable little fool. But she did understood his head shaking towards her infirmary question, he clearly didn't want to go there. Was it too embarrassing for him? Or maybe he was the type to take care of his own business? Who knew! The least she could do was stick with him until he was done throwing up slugs. After that, well... she was already missing her class, so she guessed it didn't even matter anymore!

Somehow, she had seen this coming. Perhaps she should have written a note to herself on avoiding this side of the school. It was just a little hard since she was in the Gryffindor tower which lead to the courtyard they were currently at. It was unavoidable! Oh, well. Everything happens for a reason!

In moments, the slugs were finished tormenting the cool stranger. Several seconds of silence passed by before Harriett broke the silence with her over-enthusiastic clapping and infectious bright yet dorky smiling. His introduction was pretty cool. The guy practically radiated coolness. Sooooo cooool!! He wanted to introduce himself before they had to deal with all of the crap he just mentioned! What a great idea! He thanked her for the bucket and told her his name; Daniel. Just Daniel.


"Hehehehe, nice to meet you, Daniel!" Harriett took his hand and shook it, "I'm Harriett Potter! And don't worry about the hair. It totally wasn't your fault!"